Tempers are Unprofessional, but Passion Necessary. Can You Have One Without the Other?
For me, 90% of work is a lovely, even flow. Mostly-fun co-workers, task loads that don’t fluctuate too wildly, and fairly typical work challenges: software that’s gone glitchy, clients that took a spoonful of crazy that day, and the random odd demand from a vendor.
The face you wear to work is one that you hope projects easy competence, understanding kindness, and professional efficiency. Every once in awhile that “face” falls off and pressures expose underlying fears, defensiveness, pure frustration — and sometimes downright anger.
Dealing with these bumps is a challenging balance — being able to keep both your passion (I care!) and your annoyance (I’m pissed) while not coming off like a crazy when there’s a confrontation.
I *hope* I get through most of life’s frustrations with my composure relatively intact.
Besides really wanting to be a better person, there’s a need to be drama-free at work. Women especially (though men also) can be marginalized in their careers if they are seen as being “emotional.” On the other side, noone wants to be a Stepford Wife though.
So . . . how do I create calm when someone turns a business interaction into an overt or covert boxing match?
Don’t Fury, Be Happy
In “Stuffing Your Feelings,” Chris and I discuss the difficulty of authentically dealing with (in this case) work crap and creating personal habits that help you:
- Respond appropriately,
- Let go of petty annoyances,
- Be real, and
- Find inner Nirvana (okay maybe “glimpse” Nirvana).
Listen to parts 1 & 2 of Stuffing Your Feelings with Chris Templeton of Oh, The Stories We Tell.
Moving from “Little Me” to “Authentic Me”
Oh, The Stories We Tell is a tool that helps you pinpoint the “story” you may be telling yourself about a situation and if that story is actually serving you.
It won’t stop you from getting frustrated, but it might help modify a response to that frustration into something that feels more appropriate, whether that’s professionally, societally, or just lovingly.
Listen to the final discussion in Part 2 of Stuffing Your Feelings.