Part 3 & 4 of “When You Want to Whip Out the Bitch-sLap”
This four-part podcast is a discussion on the struggles of working with aggressive colleagues without turning it into a mud-wrestling free-for-all.
In part 3, Chris opines that maybe a check-in with the boss is in order. I think that *can* be a great place to find resources to help with difficult co-workers. In this case, however, my (ex)boss hated confrontation and wanted me to resolve this on my own. Not an easy feat, since my co-worker’s behavior was supported by other members of the business group.
When I think about the possible reasons why my bulldozing co-worker is trying to bully me into abandoning my strategies, I am able to remove some of the annoyance on my part. I had to change the story that was running around in my head (she’s dreadful, she’s a saboteur, she’s pulling a “mean girls” clique) into a story that considered potential vulnerabilities (she’s fearful/insecure, she’s OCD and can’t help herself, she came from a “throw down” culture).
Once you pull the energy out of the interaction and give yourself time to look at it objectively, you also open up opportunities to see it from the other person’s point of view. You may not agree with that point of view, but you might be able to better identify with areas where they might be stuck. Thus not letting yourself get “dramatized.”
Build Trust or Move On. Those Are Your Healthy Choices.
When you can create an environment of trust, you are both able to work from your authentic selves. That doesn’t mean you pretend you aren’t frustrated. It does mean that you have less knee-jerk reactions and are working on ways to solve the “argument.”
Follow our next conversations on becoming more authentic and developing skills to be as passionate about the wins, as we are about the shit-crap that happens in our life.